What is the fruitiest lesson?
History, because it's full of dates!
What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep?
A dinosnore!
How many balls of string would it take to reach the moon?
Just one if it's long enough!
How do we know that the Earth won't come to an end?
Because it's round!
How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?
You forgot to wet the soap!
What animals are on legal documents?
Seals!
What did you get for christmas?
A mouthorgan, its the best present I've ever had.
Why?
My mom gives me extra pocket money every week not to play it!
Where do tadpoles change?
In a croakroom!
What kind of hair do oceans have?
Wavy!
Why did the child study in the airoplane?
He wanted a higher education!
What is the best hand to write with?
Neither - it's best to write with a pen!
Why are goldfish red?
The water turns them rusty!
I'd tell you another joke about a pencil.
But it doesn't have any point!
Did you hear about the little boy that they named after his father?
They called him dad!
What has forty feet and sings?
The school choir!
Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over!
What happens when you throw a green stone in the red sea?
It gets wet!
What city cheats at exams?
Peking!
Why is Alabama the smartest state in the USA?
Because it has 4 A's and one B!
Why do birds fly south in the winter?
Because it's too far to walk!
I've got a wonder watch. It only cost fifty cents.
Why is it a wonder watch?
Because every time I look at it I wonder if it is still working!
If two's company and three a crowd, what are four and five?
Nine!
What is it that even the most careful person overlooks?
His nose!
Mr Smith: I hate to tell you, but your wife just fell down the wishing well.
Mr Brown: It works!
What is a volcano?
A mountain with hiccups!
What runs but never walks?
Water!
Why did the silly kid stand on his head?
His feet were tired!
What do you get if you cross a crocodile with a flower?
I don't know, but I'm not going to smell it!
What button won't you find in a tailors shop?
Belly button!
Why didn't the banana snore?
Because it didn't want to wake up the rest of the bunch!
If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make?
Slippers!
Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
He wanted to find Pluto!
What happened when the wheel was invented?
It caused a revolution!
Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his teeth crowned!
How do you prevent a Summer cold?
Catch it in the Winter!
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams!
What is full of holes but can still hold water?
A sponge!
Why did the clock get sick?
It was run down!
What is the quickest way to double your money?
Fold it in half!
If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
Missile toe!
Where do snowmen go to dance?
A snowball!
