What is smaller than an ant's dinner?
An ant's mouth!
What do you call an ant who lives with your great uncle?
Your great-ant!
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant!
Where do ants go to eat?
At a restaurant!
What kind of ant is good at maths?
An accountant!
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten ants!
Q: How do you start a teddy bear race?
A: Ready, teddy, go!
Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
A: Winnie the Pooh!
Q: What do polo bears have for lunch?
A: Ice burger!
Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
A: They both have 'the' as their middle names!
Q: Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet?
A: It lives on ice!
Q: Who is the bees favorite singer?
A: Sting!
Q: Who is the bees favorite pop group?
A: The bee gees!
Q: Why do bees hum?
A: Because they've forgotten the words!
Q: What kind of bees hum and drop things?
A: A fumble bee!
Q: What did the bee say to the flower?
A: Hello honey!
Q: What goes hum-choo, hum choo?
A: A bee with a cold!
Q: What is a baby bee?
A: A little humbug!
Q: What do bees chew?
A: Bumble gum!
Q: What does a bee get at McDonalds?
A: A humburger!
Q: What did the bee to the other bee in summer?
A: Swarm here isn't it!
Q: Where do bees go on holiday?
A: Stingapore!
Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
A: A firequaker!
Q: How do you know that owls are cleverer than chickens?
A: Have you ever heard of Kentucky-fried owl!
Q: Where do birds invest their money?
A: In the stork market!
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A: A bird that talks in morse code!
Q: How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold?
A: He has cat-arrh!
Q: What is cleverer than a talking cat?
A: A spelling bee!
Q: How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
A: They both wear stripes!
Q: Why is the desert lion everyone's favorite at Christmas?
A: Because he has sandy claws!
Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
A: Frostbite!
Q: What is a French cat's favorite pudding?
A: Chocolate mousse!
What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day?
Turns over a new leaf!
What is the definition of a caterpillar?
A worm in a fur coat!
What does a cat go to sleep on?
A caterpillow!
What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?
A walkie talkie!
What has 50 legs but cant walk?
Half a centipede!
What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken?
Enough drumsticks to feed an army!
What is worse than an alligator with toothache?
A centipede with athlete's foot!
What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk?
A centipede with a wooden leg!
Q: Why did the horse cross the road?
A: Because the chicken needed a day off
Q: What happened when the chicken ate cement?
A: She laid a sidewalk!
Q: What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken?
A: She kicked the bucket!
Q: Why did the rooster run away?
A: He was chicken!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
A: He heard the referee calling fowls
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck!
Q: What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
A: They go on peck-nics!
Q: How long do chickens work?
A: Around the cluck!
Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can't bury them in trees!
Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!
Q: Why do dogs wag their tails?
A: "Because no one else will do it for them!"
Q: Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
A: Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!
Q: Who is the dogs favorite comedian?
A: Growlcho Marx!
Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!
What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?
Time to fix the fence!
What's grey, stands in a river when it rains and doesn't get wet?
An elephant with an umbrella!
What' s grey with red spots?
An elephant with the measles!
What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
Lost!
What' s big and grey with horns?
An elephant marching band!
What's big and grey and red?
A sunburnt elephant!
What weighs 4 tons and is bright red?
An elephant holding its breath!
What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?
An animal that tells you everything that it remembers!
What do you call someone with an elephant on their head?
Squashed!
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks!
What do you call a crate of ducks?
A box of quackers!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh!
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
As far away as possible!
What is a spiders favorite TV show?
The newly web game!
What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose?
I'm not sure, but I wouldn't try smelling it!
Why are spiders like tops?
They are always spinning!
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
What do you call a mouse that can pick up an elephant?
Sir!
What have 12 legs, six eyes, three tails and can't see?
Three blind mice!
What do mice do when they're at home?
Mousework!
What is a grasshopper?
An insect on a pogo stick!
What is green and can jump a mile in a minute?
A grasshopper with hiccups!
What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?
Chimney Cricket!.......................................................
